How Did We Get Here?

My baby boy is three today! How did this happen? Well, kind of like this (give or take a few momentous occasions.)

Uh, uh, uh, someone please pass the unpasteurized cheese.
Yum! Unpasteurized cheese.

10/23/12: Pregnancy test is positive. Stress eat a wheel of brie and 3 pounds of raw cookie dough

10/24/12: Am certain it’s a girl. Settle on a name.

2/19/13: Mom finally concedes and buys little red dress for future granddaughter.

2/20/13: Find out from ultrasound it’s a boy.

2/20/13: Mom returns dress.

7/10/13: Sent to hospital without lunch for induction. Really pissed about missing lunch.

7/10/13: Really pissed no one will give me one of the infamous hospital chocolate milkshakes. What the hell am I paying for here?

7/11/13: Happily trade milkshake for epidural. Really, really love epidural. Ask for a glass of wine.

7/11/13: 9:09 PM. Anesthesiologist says, “Congratulations! You’re not pregnant anymore.” Think that’s a really weird thing to say.

7/11/13: 9:10 PM. Immediately fill with dread and anxiety. OMG, there’s a baby here! We’re really doing this!

7/11/13: 9:12 PM. Miss being pregnant. Still love epidural. Ask for a milkshake.

7/11/13: 9:22 PM. Hold Quinn as he stares at me with big, blue eyes. Both agree to try not to kill each other.

8/11/13: Call boss and ask if I can come back to work early.

8/15/13: Would love to dress Quinn in cute onsies, but scared of actually touching him. Wonder if anyone would notice he only wears ponchos.

9/23/13: Kid is really cute, but wonder when those maternal instincts are supposed to kick in.

10/22/13: Eagerly anticipate returning to work. How relaxing will that be!

10/23/13: Return to work and cry the whole way to daycare.

10/24/13: Wonder why babies get really, really adorable the day after maternity leave ends.

10/25/13-7/10/16: Blur, blur, blur

7/11/16: Wake up to three year-old son jumping through streamers and asking who hung up all the Paw Patrol decorations. Says, “Awwww. That’s nice!” when we tell him the Birthday Fairy came.

7/11/16: Cannot imagine life without this adorable, funny, kind, polite, friendly, smart, entertaining, genius* child in our lives. Would not trade a minute of being his mom—not even for all the chocolate milkshakes and epidurals in the world.

*according to 3 out of 4 grandparents

You all this three?
You call this three? Whatevs.
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