Happy Coming Out Day, everyone. I’m not usually one to get up on a soapbox. At least not without a few bottles of chardonnay filtering through my kidneys but hey– who’s website is this anyway? I guess this counts as a soapbox.
So I posted something on my Facebook page today basically proclaiming me to be a straight ally who supports a same sex couple’s right to marry. A newly confirmed “friend” immediately jumped on it questioning why anyone would WANT to be married as it is essentially a “contract” and an “abysmal failure.” Yikes. He did go on to explain he didn’t exactly have such a good experience with said “contract.” I hope he at least got some nice napkin rings out of it.
Here’s the deal. Extending the right to marry to same-sex couples isn’t about pouffy white dresses and multi-tiered cakes. It’s about civil rights. Basic human rights. My gay friends don’t want to get married because they need new pots and pans (like me.) They’re in committed, healthy, functional, loving relationships that by all accounts and purposes look a whole lot like marriage. Only unlike a married couple they can’t be on each other’s insurance plans, they have no right to make important decisions about their partner’s health and well-being. Hell, they might not even be able to visit their partner in the hospital because they’re not considered “family.” Really?
There are lots of antiquated views of married out there. It’s between a man and a woman! It fostered pro-creation! Same sex couples are immoral!
Procreation? What about heterosexual couples who don’t want children. Can they marry? What about heterosexual couples who can’t have kids? Can they marry? What about gold-diggers and Vegas drunks, and sixteen year old imported brides? Oh sure– allow them all to enter into your sacred martial contract.
I’m not a cynic. I know plenty of happily married couples. My parents for one. But I also know that statistics show a marriage has just as much a chance of succeeding as it does of failing. So what exactly are we trying so hard to protect? Seems this “institution” is already failing. If anything, allowing same sex couples to marry would help those stats. Some of the happiest couples I know are gays and lesbians. On second thought maybe that’s because they can’t legally marry. Maybe they’re on to something here.
So, if you’re gay, straight, immoral, uptight, or any other adjective that suits you, Happy Coming Out Day. Whoever you are and whoever you love.