You know you made it when you get your own billboard.

Think all good parenting advice comes from books written by PhDs or your local Mom Facebook group? Uh uh. Join me as I recapped The Bachelor season 20 (a.k.a. the greatest reality show ever produced) and mine the rose-scented wreckage for parenting advice.

Mother Rose Best was originally published on In the Powder Room and was pretty much the most fun I ever had writing ever. Reprinted with permission.

Introducing “Mother Rose Best”

Hung Like a Mini Horse

Heating Up the Stomach Area

Ball Handling 101

Sex Panther

¿Dondé Estå My Weave?

Save the Drama for Bahamas

Moss ISO Perfect Tree

Putting the “Ho” in Hometown

Jamaican of a Marriage

The Hot Seat

Fools of Engagement