Site Loader
Night, night, little man.

There appears to be a huge developmental leap between the age of 5 and 6. I swear sometimes I’m talking to an adult– an adult with a really high-pitched voice that still can’t pour milk directly into a cereal bowl without saturating 87% of our house.

In the last few days, I’ve said the following things to my child:

*Please put your penis away.
*I saw where you touched the dog so please wash your hands.
*That’s mommy’s bra and I didn’t say you could wear it.
*Who told you six was the new sexy? Do you even know what sexy means?
*No, anus-hole isn’t technically swearing, but it’s still a mean thing to say.
*Would you want Puppy to do that to you?
*How many Slurpies have you had this week?
*I don’t sound like that! (Editor’s note: Bart said that’s EXACTLY what I sound like.)
*For the last time, your penis goes in your pants!
*Sure, you can change your name to John Cena.
*Yes, I know lots of words that rhyme with tuck. 
*No, YOU tell your butthole to go to sleep. You’re the one it’s bothering. 
*STOP ASKING ALEXA TO PLAY OLD TOWN ROAD!
*The one who smelt it, dealt it, sucka!
*GO TO BED, JOHN CENA!

If you loved me you wouldn’t touch the dog there.

Shelly Mazzanoble

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to This Fine Blog

Enter your email address to subscribe to this fine blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.