My dad with shit himself if he knew I was giving up my one and only trophy, but alas, it no longer sparks joy. Or goes with the decor.
Sadly, my feelings for Katie remain flaccid and incidentally, this sentence has more sexual energy than our alleged sex-positive lead.
The former bank marketing manager with the light-up vibrator is our new Bachelorette. What is already THE WORST this season and why will I keep watching.
Sometimes when my kid is asleep I sneak in his room to check on him and take pictures of him asleep. Then he finds the photos and asks where they came from and when I tell him he declares, THAT'S SO CREEPY! He's not wrong.
Matt isn’t just a six pack. He’s a dude with two first names. And someone who believes “love is about the heart.” That is profound!
My son is obsessed with Fortnite. What can I do? No seriously, WHAT CAN I DO????
I've done some crappy things as a parent and guarantee that's the shit he will remember and not that time his mom stuffed her sweaty, bloated body into an inflatable bubble suit and fell victim to a diving crossbody.
Girl, are you wearing a bra? Because nope. That’s not how we roll in homeschool. We bounce. We jiggle. We let the ladies run free like a herd of wild mares. If your kid’s Zoom class isn’t always in critical danger of getting a faceful of your lady bubbles, you get an F in homeschool.