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Here we go…

No one ever said wedding planning would be smooth, right? I get that. I didn’t expect it to be. In fact, I thought how great it will be to hear all the funny stories of just what went wrong and how the groom-to-be  and I were totally clueless. My wonderful friends said this is how it will be. They are on the case. Armed and ready. Just try to mess up a place setting and someone is going down.

But, the snafus we have experienced so far aren’t related to escort cards or last minute menu substitutions. In fact, we haven’t even had the wedding yet. The drama that is constantly unfolding before us is the bad kind. The stuff no amount of Excel spreadsheets or experienced wedding planners can fix. It’s the wrath of Mommy Nature. What’s her deal, anyway? Oddly enough it’s sunny and warm in Seattle.

  1. Parents decide to take the train all the way from Syracuse, NY to Seattle. Love the idea. Get to see parts of the country they never saw before. Got to get intimate with the inside of of the Syracuse train depot too because they ended up being 7 hours delayed. Why? Freak tornado hits Albany, which causes debris on tracks, which means train coming to pick them up can’t get there. Parents miss connection in Chicago and will be arriving in Seattle a day late.
  2. Brother, cousin and good friends try to fly out of Binghamton,NY. Biggest issue is how early the flight is. Group set to arrive Thursday at 10:30 AM. Good things planned for said group. Shelly can hardly wait. But what’s that? Oh right! Tropical Storm Lee decides to move up north and settle right over Binghamton for DAYS! Binghamton fight canceled.
  3. Brother and friends decide to fly out of Philadelphia. They’ll drive there. Fine. Great idea! Brother gets mad at USAir Ticket Agent (who was being douchey) and screams at him. We’re pretty sure that brother and friends are not getting on that flight.
  4. They do! But oh wait– the road to Philadelphia is washed out! Cant’ get there! Quick thinking puts them on the path to Syracuse and new flight! Halfway there USAir (different douchey agent) calls to say that flight is canceled too. But luckily they get rebooked on new flight. They think. Still waiting on that update.
  5. Get sympathetic email from another cousin saying how sorry she is about the Binghamton group not having much luck and oh how crappy that my parent’s train broke down in Montana.
  6. What?
  7. Shelly frantically tries calling parents as she didn’t know about the train. Can’t get through. Finally get a hold of brother who says, “oh yeah. The train needed some part to get over the Rookie Mountains. We weren’t going to tell you that.” Look, Amtrak, before I go on a long journey I make sure I have the proper provisions in my trunk. And I’m pretty sure you’ve made this trip before so WTF? Brother also confirms that his house and our friend’s house are pretty much toast. So awful.
  8. Parents send text saying they’re in Leavonworth and it’s beautiful. PHEW. Shelly relaxes a bit because she knows she can pick them up by car if needed.
  9. Mom sends text saying “Dad got off train to take a picture for you and train left. It’s just me now. Sorry!”
  10. Shelly comes to conclusion that eloping is a great idea.

Shelly Mazzanoble

5 Replies to “Just a Few Reasons Why Eloping is a Great Idea”

  1. Dear Shelly,

    It’s time to start asking future hubby about his bad karma. Was he a former hit man for the mafia? Did he burn down an orphanage? Is he the guy with 20 items in the 10 or fewer line? On the plus side, there’s sexy and a honeymoon at the end of all this. Sex makes almost everything better, and it acts as a natural stress reliever. I wish you the best…whatever that might look like at this point.

  2. Dear Shelly:

    I meant to comment on this earlier, but I’ve been talking to my family back in Bingo. I hope, despite the trials & tribulations, you had a fabulous wedding. Best wishes to both to you!

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